Win- Lose or Win –Win – Actually it is much beyond that

•  I am sure everyone is well familiar with ‘Win-Lose', ‘Win-Win'  scenarios and that everyone understands / enlightened on, how Win-Win is better, including in negotiations situations
•  However it is likely that you may not have heard that there is something beyond 'Win – Win'  & better and in fact worth striving for – though not so easy to reach there. You are unlikely to have known this before because no one told you, what I am going to share with you.
•  I do not know what to term this as, but it is a scenario which self-win, as a subset of other’s win.
• Can you envisage your win as a part of your customer’s ( or any other party, you are dealing with ) win & not separate from it, to be counted as ‘ Win – Win ‘ --- it is NOT Your Win and ‘ his ‘ Win as two ( may be interrelated, yet ) distinct happening ?
• Can you feel as happy with the other person’s win, you are dealing with; as much as you would be ( /would have been ) happy with your win – regardless of how you define your win & regardless of whatever happens to what you defined as your win?
• Are you willing & happy to ‘ dissolve ‘ your win into someone else’s win , like sugar into milk – so that you can single mindedly focus on achieving only One WIN , that is of the 'other person'  and feel overwhelmingly &genuinely happy about the remarkable outcome ( like sugar made the sweetened milk ) you helped create, without really bothering to count – 'what did you get'
• If you have experienced any of above or if you can relate to the scenario above; you will understand the concept I bring to you. Those now enlightened but skeptical about its ‘ practicality ‘ will ask me …if anyone in this world does this, except God & the kins thereof …. I would say YES, Very Much. Each Mother I know, practices that every time with her child
• I am not aware of any mother, who in any scenario, operates with her child in a ‘ Win –Win ‘ scenario, forget about ‘ Win –Lose '!
• I am not aware of any mother, who has any ‘ own ‘ agenda, separate from her child’s that makes her count her ‘ win ‘ or  ‘What did I get for what I did '.
• I have not seen a mother who is not single mindedly focused on her child’s win – that being the only win for him in that situation. And her life is an endless Sum of all such situations
•   I took ‘ Mother ‘ analogy, because it is so visible, happening in each of our lives. However practicing this concept of Win within Win ‘ is not restricted to ‘ biological ‘ mothers. It applies to each that person, who ‘ Mothers’ whatever he/she is involved in – be it person, product, process, cause, nation, entity & I have seen it being practiced
•  Now I will tell you, why I am fascinated with this concept, why I consider it a higher level concept, where can it be applicable & who are well poised to practice it
• The flaw in  'Win – Win' concept – however flaunted & promoted is that … whether 'Win –Lose' or 'Win –Win'; both are  ‘ Transactional ‘  …. It has to do with "What do I get for what I did". Even if you are conscious about & calibrate to see each party gets happy, the mind set is still “ What do I get for what I did ". " Win within Win", goes much beyond to be a ‘ Relationship ‘ approach
• Other shortcoming in any transactional v/s relationship approach is that in the former ( like in Win –Win ) there are two entities , in the later ( as in Win within Win) there is only one entity. This does not only afford single minded focus of your efforts & energy – quantitatively leading to outstanding outcome ; it also attains ‘ purity of purpose ‘ & qualitatively too attains higher level    This concept – rather a Life Approach has not only universal application in whatever you do , but more particularly potently useful in Service industry – for better customer focus . And with its purity of purpose , every step you take on this path enhances your enrichment & happiness quotient
• Having said that let me caution you that practicing Win within Win is none too easy . Win-Win itself is difficult to practice . Practicing Win within Win will take much more level of mental strength , conviction & determination . I am not sure how many can , but it is certainly very desirable – aspirational journey
• It will come easy to those who are convinced about & dedicated to creating “ Greater Good “ for the world and have deep intrinsic faith that their share of “ Greater Good “ will be Greater than the ( usual ) Good, without having to separately count. It is for those people who take as their obligation to contribute to creating a better World and take themselves as inseparable constituent of the better world, than the other way round
• It is for that "Sugar" who unquestioningly dissolves into the Milk with deep commitment to make the World a better place with it than without – it is not for that ‘ sugar ‘ who refuses to lose its identity by dissolving & in turn makes, self & the surrounding – unfulfilled

       This piece is therefore dedicated to All Mothers & to All Those who take themselves as Mothers to Whatever they do. This World is a better place, essentially because of them!